Monday, February 16, 2009

I'm Voten For Oaten

I thought this read 'ScatCampus'.

Friday, February 13, 2009

What should I put in this toaster?

Cast your votes. No body parts.

New Loreal Collogen Replumper

Gives A Bouncy Feel To The Skin.

Thursday, February 12, 2009


My phone just went off twice in a talk by Alex Kelly from Third Angel.
I never thought it would happen to me. The handset in question didn't
have a sim in it, but I'd set an alarm on it yesterday, which it
clearly commited to memory. I am ashamed. Apologies to all involved.

Your Smile Is Our Reward

This leaflet beside my bed at the hotel Ibis says that if they can't
satisfy a problem that's their fault within fifteen minutes, the
room's free.

Today I tried to have a shower, and the water was cold. When I phoned
reception, they said there was some maintainance happening and it
would be fixed in twenty minutes.

I didn't have twenty minutes, so now I am slightly grubby looking.

Thus I should qualify for a free room status, right?

I will attempt to claim my reward this evening.

Wish me luck.

I'll give you a pound if you drink this.

Performance Space

Two satellites have collided in space for the first time, creating two
massive debris fields in low-earth orbit.

I don't want to scaremonger, but I do think it would be prudent to
spend the next five days in an underground bunker, just in case.

As such, I'm attending the National Review of Live Art, held deep in
the arches below Glasgow Central train station.

I'll be blogging the festival, which runs until Sunday, so be sure to
check out the coverage here, if you haven't already been decimated by


Sunday, February 08, 2009

Thursday, February 05, 2009

Tuesday, February 03, 2009

Monday, February 02, 2009